Breaking The Male Code: After Steubenville, A Call To Action


(Left to Right) Peter Buffett, Jimmie Briggs, Joe Ehrmann, Tony Porter, Dave Zirin. Moderated by Eve Ensler

On Tuesday, March 26th, V-Day and The Nation presented a one night only panel discussion entitled Breaking The Male Code: After Steubenville, A Call To Action.

This passionate and timely discussion featured Journalist and Teacher Jimmie Briggs; Emmy Award-winning musician and Co-Chair of the NoVo Foundation Peter Buffett; President of Coach for America and former football player Joe Ehrmann, A Call to Men Co-Founder Tony Porter; and Sports Editor at The Nation Dave Zirin, and moderated by Eve Ensler.

More information and panelists’ bios here:


  1. so they're bent on taking the NFL to task but won't touch the elephant in the room of religion?  How about calling out the doctrines that teach (falsely, might I add) that women come from men and are inferior and must submit to the will of a male (god, father, husband, son, etc) – the same religion that teaches that just having a penis, regardless of personal character is what makes you superior.  

    I don't think you'll shift anything until you start to dissect and prove false the ideology that has spawned the harshest of misogyny.  

    And don't misunderstand, there is some odious misogyny in the atheist 'free thinker' movement, though it is based on wanting to maintain the male privilege and patriarchy – even this stems from the structure religion created in the past.

  2. "Women are not raping ourselves, it turns out."

    Except, not only is this victim-erasure, but she wrote a fucking rape and called it a “good rape” because it was woman-on-woman. Like. Does she not understand that?

    “Women are not raping ourselves”?! Did she forget that lesbian and bisexual women exist, or is she just so stupid and ideologically blind that she thinks all women are magical beautiful creatures who would never do anything wrong? Either way, you’d be hard pressed to find many more obnoxious examples of misogyny and victim erasure perpetuated by anyone not ascribing to feminist ideology…

  3. Although I do love this and totally support all of the points that have been raised in this, I do not think that it is fair to base all this just on straight rape against females. I think that to tackle rape against women we also have to take in the rapes that are against men, I feel that this talk totally avoids the fact that this is everyone's problem, because of the rape culture not only in America, but all throughout the world.

  4. She has spent 12 hours a day, for 30 years, fighting against violence against women? She can go on dates with men who are smaller and weaker than her. Marry one. A fast marriage takes about 1 hour. She hasn't. Nor has she, apparently, said one word about the fact violence occurs more often against men and boys than girls and women. I guess challenging gender roles, and efforts to reduce spousal abuse against women have limits. That limit is reached at the point it might conflict with what a woman believes is in her own best interest?

    What it means to be a man? Certainly it is not whatever the hell 4 of these men are up to. 

  5. Straight faced lie #1. The judge didn't recuse himself because of "his involvement in football culture." He recused himself because his daughter was the ex of one of the accused. 

  6. The woman says at the beginning of this video that we need to stop teaching our daughters how to avoid rape, and start teaching our sons how to stop rape. I disagree completely. Logically we need to continue to teach our daughters how to avoid rape, and also teach our sons to not rape anyone, male or female. We need to also teach our daughters not to sexually take advantage of male or female as well. This woman has painted rape as a thing that happens to women, and men are to blame. False. Rape is a society issue where both men and women are to blame. Who raised the boy who turns into a rapist? A father and a mother. Both of them should be held accountable for failing to raise a decent human being. What about mothers who are so selfish and careless about life that she would rather leave her 10 year old daughter with a very shady female baby sitter who likes to have random strange men over. While the mother is out getting drunk at a party, the carelessness of both her and the baby sitter created a situation where it's easy for a strange guy friend to come over and rape the daughter in the shadows. The rapist is to blame, the mother is to blame, the sitter is to blame, and the father who may be a dead beat is to blame. The daughter is the victim. This is a society issue, until people admit to this fact, rape will continue because no one really cares, when they should.

  7. The other issue they, like most people, are not addressing is the fact that men and boys behave the way they do because of their attraction to women. They know that if they don't "be a man" they're not going to have a girlfriend, because girls don't want to date a sissy. These people try to present that as men forcing other men and boys to "be a man" but they ignore where "be a man" comes from, which is heterosexuality and the desire to be with a woman. Men and boys are not trying to impress other men when they are trying to "be a man". They are trying impress women. Even when a man impresses another men, it's all for the sake of eventually impressing women. So telling men and boys to stop "being a man" is not going to happen unless you're gay, or stupid. And even gay men tend to try to "be a man" because many don't identify with being feminine like other gays do. If you want a girlfriend, be a man, but be yourself as you be your own man, thats what they should be saying.

  8. Masculinity is good. Masculinity is the source of all of the worlds advancements. Masculinity can become TOXIC or PERVERTED when it is shamed and suppressed. Women want to change men through shame and this often backfire, only to create more violence. When men and women get together, there is something TOXIC in how their relate. If women try to shame and change men, men will resort to violence. Women are involved in this dance of violence.

  9. My problem with this is every man defines masculinity for himself. No matter what we do when it's poured into the feminist filter they will never like what's left. The man at about 32:00 minutes in talked about the us against them. It's true but it's not good guys vs. bad guys. It's feminist movement vs. men. Then he goes on to say the rest of us can't be left off the hook for crimes other men committ… Men will never satisfy feminist feelings. We wont. This idea that we start with boys. Start what with boys that's so fucked up.. accusing them wow. Bottom line good men hold themselves accountable for what he does, not anyone else. So when she asks why don't good men go to these events, because that's not how we live.

    Blaming the whole of men for violence against women already puts us out. That's feminist for ya.

  10. That Eve Ensler is clueless is no surprise – but that she actually found men to agree with the vapid premise that masculinity and rape culture are synonymous? You all couldn't be more wrong. Masculinity did not lead these depraved men to dehumanize this woman – it is disgusting to all normal people, even the masculine ones.

  11. It is refreshing to see that this discussion has started. Hopefully it will continue, however, the discussion needs to go to the next level and address the very foundations of where much of these attitudes come from – religion. As far as I can see, many men need to be raised and converted to a 'humanistic' way of thinking and feeling, ie. be accountable and take responsibility for their actions, be respectful to all people especially those less physically stronger and more vulnerable than them (women, children, elderly, animals), realise that with greater physical strength comes greater responsibility as it does with social and economic power; and to be more loving and empathetic. After all, absolute power corrupts absolutely (without accountability)… this has been the problem with patriarchy holding the social reigns so far – and we all know what mess this has made of humanity so far.

  12. It's clear, especially from the previous comments, that we are all individuals, locked in a social construct that molds our consciousness at such a young age that it is hard to know later in life what is mine and what was given to me as a sociopolitical agenda. Having read the book 'Refusing to be a man' by John stoltenberg, I was introduced to the boys club culture that these gentlemen are helping to throw light on. I find Tony Porters words most honest, and brave.

    America began as a raped country, and progressed through brutal means to gain power, so there is a weed at its heart that must be uprooted. You can see in the comments section those who are living in darkness, cut off from their own joy and intelligence, intent on fighting an endless war for a cause they do not understand. The bill of rights applied to only 6% of the population at the time of the declaration by the founding fathers, so equality has never been the intention. A whole new paradigm is required, and it begins in the heart. First, of course, you have to be in touch with it, and that is the only challenge. Thankfully, it is inevitable that every individual must follow their heart, in this lifetime or another. The heart has no gender.

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